


Dr. Love To Room 12

by Gh0stFl0ra



Category: KISS (US Band)
Genre: Crack? Crack., F/M, Gene shouldn't be a doctor, Hallucinogens, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, hospital au, reader is done with this nonsense, sexy nurse outfit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gh0stFl0ra/pseuds/Gh0stFl0ra
Summary: Love life in shambles? Partner not putting out? Put a tip in for Dr. Love and he'll fix you up.
Relationships: Gene Simmons/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Intimacy issues? In my life?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on kansart's fanart. (Check him out on Tumblr).

Reader's P.O.V

A loud beep and the smell of bleach wakes me up. My eyes flicker open, to reveal a porcelain white room. ' _I'm in the hospital? Why?'._ Nearby is a remote with a 'Call Nurse' button. I click it, and a doorknob rattles, before a blonde woman in scrubs enters. 

"Yes, Miss [X]?", she looks up from her clipboard, "Are we feeling any better?", 

"Why am I here?", I sit up, as she flips through the paperwork. 

"It says here you're having some intimacy issues", she answers, with a smile. 

I blink, flabbergasted. You don't go to the hospital for 'intimacy issues', you go to couples' therapy or 'spice it up' in the bedroom. "Um, I think something's wrong", I suggest. The nurse frowns, clicking her pen.

"You could have so many problems, stress, muscle tension, low energy, it goes on", she lists off with a stroke of the pen. I roll my eyes, and check the nightstand. My phone is charging next to my purse. I sigh, before speaking to the woman again. 

"There's been a mistake. I'll give you my insurance card, call an Uber, and we'll never speak about this again, okay?", I offer, much to her annoyance. She glares, and proceeds to a corded phone on the wall. She punches in a number, probably dreading the move. 

"Dr. Love to Room 12, Dr. Love to Room 12", she snaps, before hanging up. "Maybe you'll listen to him, then", the nurse walks out, slamming the door shut. I turn the nearby TV on to a random channel, and absentmindedly watch. There's another jostle of the doorknob. The man who walks in looks absolutely ridiculous. His face is painted white, with black markings around his eyes and hairline. His long black hair is somewhat tied in a loose topknot, letting the rest cascade down his shoulders. But that's not the ridiculous part. He's dressed in a stereotypical 'sexy nurse' outfit, dyed pink with a namecard at the breast pocket. The dress leaves little to the imagination, showing off his hairy legs up to the midthigh. His stomach presses against the material, and his metallic boots are adorned with a dragon's head at the foot. 

' _Is this a joke_?', I ask myself as he snaps a pair of latex gloves over his hands. 

"I assume she's seen you already?", his voice is a near flat monotone. I nod, backing away from the stranger. "What did she say?", he gets closer to me. 

"T-that I had 'intimacy problems'", I try not to look him in the eye. 

"Well, that's not good", the weirdo comments, "You're not a bad looking woman, I'm not sure why you'd be so lonely", he compliments, nudging his gloved hand under my chin. 

"Can I please see the doctor?", I blurt out, twitching slightly. He laughs, sticking his snakelike tongue out in the process. "I'm serious". 

"I am the doctor", he explains, causing me to go slack jawed. This crackpot is a doctor? I close my mouth as he pulls some packages from the cabinet by my nightstand. "I know this'll be weird, seeing as it's your first visit", 

"No thanks", I say," There's been some mix up. I'll give you my insurance number, and we can forget this ever happened", I insist, as he opens a package. The 'doctor' turns around, feigning disappointment. The silence in the room grows palpable, as I play with the hospital blanket. 

"I'll give you some time, then", he exits with a huff. How did I even get here? I unlock my phone and go straight to my texts. Nothing to suggest how I got here? Nothing. I groan and place the pillow over my face. It's going to be a long day, isn't it? 


	2. It's more likely than you think

Reader's P.O.V

Since there's no use staying in the room, I exit, to a silent hallway, broken up by the sound of an intercom. Not even a nurse can be found, much less a real doctor. I wander down the hall, the scent of bleach becoming stronger. On the wall is a directory, with 'Front Office ' labeled to my right. Thank you, someone who could tell me what's going on. I pass by a few rooms, until I reach a lobby.

But, he's there, back turned to me. My heart sinks to my stomach, as I take a few nervous steps away. Like a mouse trying to escape a lion. Don't make a sound, don't even breathe audibly. I step back, considering even tiptoeing. Once he's out of sight, and earshot, I exhale, and run. The front office is staffed by a man in similar, albeit more catlike makeup. He smiles at me, before asking what I need. 

"Do you have any records for a [X] [X]?", I whisper, still fearing that crackpot. Catman holds a finger up, a way of telling me to wait, as he flips through a filing cabinet. The clock is ticking, as I hear heavy footsteps against tile. I start to shake, as Catman pulls my file. 

"Alright, Miss [X], it says here you got here-they blacked this out?", he stares at the paper incredulously, as the footsteps only come closer. "Are you, crying?", Catman touches my arm, as my eyes well up. 

"Help me", I'm almost begging at this point, as the footsteps stop. I feel some relief, only for it to be shot down by a hand on my shoulder. I don't even have to look, I know who it is. The tears keep falling, as the 'doctor' speaks. My legs feel like they could give out at any moment. 

"What's she doing out of her room?", he keeps touching my shoulder, the weight feeling like a restraint. Catman says nothing, hoping to save his own skin. "Peter. What's she doing out of her room?", he repeats, angrier. Peter keeps his mouth shut, focusing on his computer. "Typical. "

The 'doctor' then turns to me. I don't look at him, even as he forces my chin up. My face is a mess of tears, what's he going to do to me? I can only cry, as he presses his lips to my cheek. Trying to soften the blow, is he? I keep my eyes closed, I don't need to see my 'treatment'. What I don't expect is to be carried, probably to some ECT machine. 

"You can look at me, " he sighs, as he walks to some unknown room. When I refuse, the man stops speaking, and stops moving, a way for me to look up at him. Which I do, begrudgingly. "There we go", he smirks. 

"How did I get here?", I ask, to which I get no reply. He instead returns to Room 12, and sits us both on the bed. "Or do you not know?", the 'doctor' says nothing, returning to the package on the counter. It's a bottle of clear fluid, like hand sanitizer, but not a brand I recognize. Adam and Eve? My eyes widen as the realization hits me like a brick. 

"Oh, no, we are not doing that", I back away again. 

"Just because I take something out of a box, doesn't mean I'll use it instantly", it's a bit hopeful, but I shouldn't hold my breath. 


	3. Tell me Where it Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for drug usage. Also, the reader is in her early to mid twenties, so no underage stuff. I apologize for the short chapter.

Reader's P.O.V

I sit on the hospital bed, awkwardly anticipating his 'cure', when a-woman? walks towards us. She's dressed in the same outfit, with different boots. She stops, and looks at us. I'm clearly wrong about the doctor's gender, when he turns. He's also got similar makeup on, albeit simpler. The white base is accented with a single black star over his left eye. His lips are done in red, as opposed to 'Dr. Love''s black ones. 

"I see that the patient is-well", he glances over to me, then to his colleague. "You haven't discussed a cure yet?", he asks. A cure, for intimacy issues? Is there some joke I'm still not getting? The second 'doctor' leans against the doorframe, staring at the bottle on the counter. 

"I don't have a disease", I insist again, feeling like a broken record. 

"She's in denial, Paul", Dr. Love singsongs. In denial of what? I'm not going to accept the verdict, because it has no basis in reality. I'm fine. Yes, my last relationship was a bit boring, but you can't always have a 'perfect' sex life. It was acceptable, if not very vanilla. It's not a problem. 

"She's been pretty hesitant", Dr. Love elaborates to Paul, who hums in reply. 

"Did you start anything?", Paul checks the cabinets, pulling another package from the cabinet. 

"No", I hiss slightly. 

"That's Gene's fault, then", Paul wags his finger at the other 'doctor' in a teasing manner. 

"Dr. Stanley to Room 14", the intercom calls out. Paul rolls his eyes, before leaving the room. I open the package he took out, revealing a-mint tin? 

"Dammit, Frehley's stuff must've gotten mixed up ", Gene exits the room in a huff. I open the tin as soon as he's out of earshot. The 'mints' are the same color as Viagra, but look similar to Smarties. 

"I wouldn't mess around with those", another voice enters, revealing yet another strangely dressed 'doctor'. His makeup is silvery and more angular, outlined in black, with the same white base, as well as black lips, "alone, that is". He lays on the bed, next to me, taking a pill for himself. The man's eyes become glassy, and he begins laughing. They're drugs. I don't know what type of drugs, but they're drugs nonetheless. Frehley mumbles after the laughter, going on about 'the real girls'. I consider sticking around to see what the results could be, as he insists I try them. I don't think I'll watch, unless something urgent happens. Wandering out into the hall, I see the previous bleached tiles look slightly dirty, as if someone forgot to mop up dirt. It's strange, but I don't pay attention to it, as I enter the lobby. The lobby seems a bit unkempt, but not enough to be suspicious to me. 

I check my texts again, no photos of how I got here either. I hear the same heavy footsteps return, more agitated this time. Something must have made him incredibly angry. 


End file.
